More poetry fun from the same, fateful day in 1993.
Turbo the Turtoise – a poem in 5 distinct stages.
1. The Fluffy Bit
Turbo the Tortoise He’s a nippy little chap Flying thru wonderland Without need of a map
He soars over jelly trees Using his jolly jet boots Shaking the trees From the jelly to their roots
Passing pink umbrellas Candy and cotton clouds All is good and jolly In wonderland surrounds
2. The Surreal Bit
Turbo was a melon Harrummph, Harrummph Wibble, fish Passing wind thru his toes
He passed logs of windows Eggwhisk blades a-whirring Twisted whirls a-blurring Harrummph, Harrummph
3. The Waynes World Bit
Babe alert, babe alert Cried the excellent dude most hearty She’s high on the strokeability scale And I bet she knows how to party
Shcwing, went Turbo, to the fox He really felt good about it I’m not worthy, he did cry She was no squirly bit
4. The Romantic Bit
Holding her in his muscular arms He swept her off her feet Soaring way up in the air He had in store, a treat
As his arms moved across her chest She gave a gentle sigh She raked her hands thru his hair As he moved down to her thigh
5. The Violent and Sad Ending Bit
Turbo was in love But as he moved down to her thigh He got a bit of a shock As she pulled out an Uzi
Riddling him with bullets Blood spurting out from every hole He started up his jet pack And off went Turbo
The flame from the ignition Incinirated his one true love He wondered what he’d done As he climbed towards the heavens above
Fishing out his machetti He plunged it thru his heart His jetpack finally giving out He plunged like a weighted dart
Splattering on the concrete below Our friend was no-more How we’ll miss our dear old friend The Tortoise call Turbo
5b. The Scooby Doo Ending
Turbo was a resourceful chap He had a bullet-proof shell The bullets hit his one-true love And with a bump she fell
He reached down to help her up But he noticed something odd She seemed to be wearing a mask Which he ripped off of her bod
Revealing the person who had fired It was an evil guy He hated all the pollution and noise That Turbo made as he would fly
“I would have got away with it too” The evil man sighed “If it wasn’t for your pesky shell” Upon which the old man died
Good old Turbo – what a guy Good riddance to that louse He’ll never forget his bullet proof shell Whenever he leaves the house
THE END
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Merry Christmas
I’ve been away over Christmas and have been with my daughter since Boxing day. She’s with me until New Year – a good time to try out all the presents!
It’s not too late, however, to wish everyone a happy 2007!
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