Ahh, it’s Friday so it’s time for something a little mad.

When Swansea council wanted to put up a new sign that read “No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only.” they, naturally, wanted to add a Welsh translation. So they emailed the appropriate person who promptly replied back with, what they thought was, the translation.

Except it wasn’t. It was an out of office message. The Welsh translation on the sign therefore reads “I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated.”

Classic¹.

1. story and picture from the BBC news website [↩]

I read on a forum elsewhere a list of useful, and sometimes obvious, ways to keep costs downs and help beat the current downturn in the economy. I’ve stripped that list down, taking out anything contentious, condescending, personal, etc. Here is my version…

1. List and prioritise your outgoings – pay attention to larger, unnecessary or frequently occurring expenditures
2. Make a budget and stick to it
3. Switch utility supplier deals – e.g. phone, broadband, mobile, gas, electric, insurances
4. Note all renewal dates on your calendar to give time for a switch
5. Shop around on everything you buy – try online price comparison sites (my favourites are Google Product Search and Kelkoo) and find the cheapest online providers
6. Think about ‘through-life cost’ or ‘total cost of ownership’ – that big car might be a bad idea or that cheap screwdriver might be a false economy.
7. Optimise the utilities you do use – lite broadband packages, better calling plans, PAYG mobile etc
8. Avoid volume contracts where you can – do you need 800 minutes a month? ‘free’ calls during the day?
9. Cancel direct debits and subscriptions you don’t use – e.g. magazines, papers, gym, etc
10. Ditch newspapers and magazines and read news online
11. Reduce transport costs where possible – avoid the journey (phone instead) or use a cheaper alternative
12. Reduce car running costs – tyre inflation, slower driving, anticipate the need to brake, remove roof racks, lighten the load, etc.
13. Book in advance – for example, train journeys (or consider two single tickets)
14. Be flexible – e.g. to take advantages of sales on flights, holidays, etc.
15. Get on your bike – lowers travel costs and makes you healthier
16. Don’t buy things you don’t need… whatever the discount (do you really need the book, CD or DVD?)
17. Set the heating timer, turn down the heating a degree or two, wear an extra layer, switch it off
18. Turn down your water temperature a degree and use the cold tap instead of hot tap when you can
19. Switch off all electrics at night (be surprised how long it is before you switch some things on again)
20. Use a power strip on your computer etc so you can switch off all devices in one go
21. Plan your meals and build your shopping list accordingly
22. Try food shopping order – you can often offset delivery costs by the cheaper bills that comes from not being tempted to buy more than you need
23. Use your freezer sensible and know how best to store foods
24. Every now and then make a concerted effort to use up the contents of your food cupboards
25. Bulk buy non-perishable items when the price is right
26. Cook healthily from basic ingredients and avoid ready meals
27. Sell all your old junk on eBay or books on Amazon
28. Insulate, replace bulbs with low energy ones, use draught excluder’s, etc.
29. Use less – use half as much toothpaste, shampoo, ketchup, printing, etc than normal
30. Speed up – less time in the shower, shorter phone calls, etc.
31. Slow down – consider the merits of taking more time on the things that matter (like meals)
32. Down shift your shopping – avoid ‘brands’, buy cheaper alternatives (most often on top and bottom shelves at supermarkets), use cheaper outlets
33. Downsize where it makes sense – house, living costs, car size.
34. Collect points for Boots, Tesco, Nectar, etc, if you shop there anyway (and don’t be seduced by points but use them for deals where you can)
35. Pack your own lunch and ditch the coffees and all those other ways you regularly fritter small cash
36. Use sites such as Money Saving Expert or HotUKDeals to get more vouchers or deals on things you would buy anyway
37. Find inexpensive entertainment like board games, visiting friends, free art galleries, etc.
38. Avoid shops, sales, and adverts – remove temptation
39. Make a wishlist of things you would like to buy – wait a week and see if you still really want the item
40. Pay off credit cards in full (by direct debit) and get a cashback card if you do (e.g. amex or capital one)
41. Pay off your debts and consolidate sensibly
42. Don’t use your mobile on holiday – use hotel numbers for incoming and calling cards for outgoing calls
43. Review savings and interest rates on your accounts – switch and go for notice accounts where better
44. Beware of loaded best-buy tables – spot risks or other small print traps
45. Make a savings habit – pay yourself first, keep rainy day funds, etc
46. Skim your current account – don’t go overdrawn but equally don’t leave large amounts sitting around earning no interest
47. Empty your piggy bank – put all spare change into a savings account that earn you interest
48. Consider self-insurance on things like dentistry, car breakdown etc. (depending on your situation)
49. Check out tax benefits such as childcare vouchers, bike to work schemes, transfers of assets, etc.
50. Review other benefits such as winter fuel savings, insulation, child tax credits, etc.
51. Be sensible about gifts on birthdays and holidays – agree with your partner, family or friends what you really want or need.
52. Make your own cards or gifts – e.g. a photo mounted on card.
53. Use free software such as OpenOffice, etc
54. Watch what you throw – keep an eye on what food gets wasted, can you avoid it in future? what can minimise your trash? were all those things necessary?
55. Swap things with friends – childcare, babysitting, CDs, DVDs, toys etc.
56. Use energy efficient power settings on PCs to sleep monitors and hibernate or shut-down the machine
57. Don’t use 0870, premium numbers or directory enquiries – directory enquiries and Yellow Pages can be done free online and you can often find 0870 alternative numbers
58. Be active and exercise regularly – walk, run, cycle, do the gardening, it doesn’t have to cost money.
59. Look out for free deals on eye tests, ask for a copy of your prescription and buy glasses online
60. See how many days you can go without spending

Over time I’ll add some more on as I think of them

Having said that I don’t do a lot of them myself but as money becomes tight, I’m sure there are more that I’ll turn to.

I don’t normally take part in debates such as this but for once I’m going to break my own rule.

The issue over Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross making “lewd” phone calls to actor Andrew Sachs is, in my mind, being blown out of all kind of proportion. The main issue that the media is making out of this is that he was upset because Ross, on his answering machine, mentioned that Brand had slept with his granddaughter. A poll-dance loving girl, with a stage name of “Voluptua“, who is apparently a “Page Three wannabe“. What isn’t being disputed is whether she did or not – apparently she did sleep with him. So, a girl such as her, who I’m guessing has done all the shocking of her grandfather that’s probably possible, sleeps with Brand. Ross leaves it on Sachs’ answering machine, press goes wild. Yet, if the press found out about this do you think they’d splash it all across their paper? Of course they would. A newspaper that Sachs would probably end up reading.

Mr Sachs gave them his mobile number after he couldn’t appear on Brands show. He knew what kind of show it was and what kind of entertainer Brand is. The calls were then made in this style. Maybe they went too far and for that they’ve apologised.

By why is it exploding like it is? Why, in particular, is the media after them? Nothing to do with them being well paid celebrities and a lot of repressed jealousy, I’m sure.

Having said all that, if they’re sacked, and it’s looking likely, this might be good. The BBC is supposed to offer something different, something you couldn’t get on commercial radio and Radio 2, right now, is not fulfilling that. Sadly neither are people like Chris Moyles, whos show I dearly love but, I have to admit, is possibly wrong for the BBC.

In the meantime the media certainly won’t be happy (and, naturally, MP’s are happy to ride this wave to get “in the good books” of the papers) until Ross and Brand go.

fter my recent post about making changes to your phone line to improve broadband performance, I thought I’d mention a helpful test facility that allows you to hear a quiet line (and hence check if there is any interference).

To access…

1. Unplug anything that plugs into your BT master socket.
2. Plug a normal touch tone phone directly into this socket.
3. Dial 17070¹, press option 2 (quiet line test).
4. You should hear ‘Quiet Line Test’ and then silence.

Hopefully, there should be no pops, clicks, whistles, buzzing, etc. If there is, though, make sure it’s not your phones connection to the socket (wiggle it about a bit) and that you are using the master socket.

If you are sure it’s the line making the noise then ring BT and report the fault – they should be able to sort it out. Remember that misreporting a fault (e.g. if it turns out to be your phone, extension cord etc.) may be chargeable.

1. If you have your “Caller ID” withheld, then the test system won’t know who’s calling (it will probably say there is no CLI detected). To temporarily override this, dial 1470 before 17070. [↩]

Firefox 3 is great. Particularly the new tag facility for bookmarks.

However, it would appear that this initial version is, possibly, a bit buggy. I say “possibly” because after reading some of the forums it would seem that these may not be bugs but intentionally done to “save the user from themselves”.

Let me explain.

This came about when I accidentally created an empty tag. I don’t know how, but I’ve recently found one way – delete it from the list of tags in the “Organise Bookmarks” window. Any shortcuts that had the tag in it will have it replaced with an empty one. This tag is then listed as “(no title)”. Now try and delete it. You can’t? No, and if you’re using Foxmarks, it will cause synchronisation to fail.

I looked for all sorts of solutions but, in the end, the easiest was simply to start again. And what I mean by that is to create a new Firefox profile, re-install all my search engines and plugins and then use Foxmarks to download all my bookmarks again from their server. Once done I deleted my original profile. It’s not neat but it works.

Anyway, it would appear that deleting tags generally can be a bit, erm, hit and miss. However, the suggestion is that this has been done on purpose to save the user from doing it by accident. Erm, yes. Ok. Doesn’t really make sense to me and I can only hope this issue gets fixed.

Why, for example, if I delete a tag is an empty one created for all those bookmarks that use it? Why isn’t the tag simply removed?

Maybe we’ll never know.